


courtyards on summer nights

by heyvelrisa



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Royalty, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28907808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyvelrisa/pseuds/heyvelrisa
Summary: Clementine has a lot on her plate, but at least something is going right.
Relationships: Clementine Cordelia/Alexandra Gold
Kudos: 5





	courtyards on summer nights

**Author's Note:**

> note: there is a brief death mention at the beginning of this part. nothing major, but please proceed with caution.
> 
> alexandra belongs to addy!!

"Well, this certainly feels backwards."

Clementine didn't even flinch at the sound of Alexandra's voice behind her, disrupting the still silence of the night that she had become accustomed to in the past... how long had it been? Thirty minutes? Three hours?

Clem had tossed and turned in bed for a while, staring at the walls and the ceiling while her fiancé slept peacefully next to her. The next few days would be a flurry of emotions and criticisms and uncertainty. 

Tomorrow was her father's funeral, and the next day would be her coronation. What a fun series of events to look forward to. 

There was something cruelly ironic about the timing. Clem and Alex had set a wedding date quite a while ago; the entire kingdom had been waiting with anticipation to watch the king walk his daughter, the future queen, down the aisle before his time was up. 

Now, the wedding was in less than a week, and her father had passed away months before his doctors had expected. 

Clem hadn't really had time to mourn as of yet. His death had occurred the day before, and the middle day was spent in solace with her mother and her siblings, the three eldest scrambling to arrange a funeral service while Lilith sat by, trying to process the grief of her first real, tangible loss. Now, the funeral was in less than twelve hours, and Clem could feel the weary weight settling quite uncomfortably over her shoulders. Part of her wondered if it was her father, reminding her one last time of how hard it would be for her to be a female monarch marrying another woman. It seemed almost cruel. The sheets on her bed had not exactly helped with the stifling feeling, so she had kicked them off in favor of walking out to the balcony that led out of her room. 

Now, Clem could feel Alex's arms gently wrapping around her waist. She leaned back into the gentle weight of it, closing her eyes and sighing warily. 

"Backwards?" she finally replied, focusing on the feeling of Alex's gentle touch. 

"You're normally the one finding me awake." Clem turned in her arms to face her. There was a teasing note in her voice, but her eyes were serious, fixed on her with concern. 

"Just thinking," Clem mumbled, dropping her gaze to focus on Alex's collarbone so she wouldn't have to look her in the eye.

"Can I ask what about?" 

"I'm sure you already know the answer."

Alex nodded somberly, and it was quiet for a while, save for the occasional rustle of fabric as Alex reached up to brush Clem's hair out of her eyes or the whistle of the wind. Clem felt like she was going to cry. She'd felt like that for months, and it hadn't happened yet. 

"Are you sure?" Clem asked quietly. 

"About what?"

"Marrying me." Clem closed her eyes. 

"Of course I am." There wasn't a moment of hesitation. "You know that."

Clem did know that, deep down. Still, part of her doubted it; as much as she knew Alex loved her, could she also love the fuck-ups and the mood swings and also the mountain of responsibilities that came with the job title that marrying her would bring?

Clem had spent many, many nights pondering this. She wanted to be good enough for her kingdom and her lover and her mother and her siblings. She really did. But what if her father was right? What if she couldn't do any of it now that he was gone?

"You're overthinking again." Alex bent down a little, holding Clem's arms and gently guiding her down, too, until they were seated on the cool stone floor of the balcony. "I love you more than anything. I would do anything to make you happy, and even if that meant marrying you for the help and nothing else, I'd do it. But I do love you. And I want to be with you through this, not only as your right hand but also as your wife."

"But what if you hate it?" Clem's voice quivered, and she could feel her resolve beginning to break, but Alex gently hushed her and pulled her into her arms. 

"I won't hate it. Anywhere with you is where I want to be."

Clem's heart settled a little, but she still felt sick with guilt and fear. "What if the people hate me?"

"The people have loved you since you were an infant, dear." 

"Yes, because I am young and objectively pretty and desirable and a woman, which makes me compliant. What if everyone hates that I'm the one in power?"

"They won't. It's impossible to please everyone, but they love you, Clem. And it's clear that you have their best interests in mind."

Clem buried her face in Alex's chest for a long time. "This isn't fair," she whimpered. "I want my dad. He'd know what to do."

"You are more than capable of doing this without him." Alex rubbed her back soothingly. "I know you miss him. I do, too. And there's a lot going on right now. But you don't need your parents to help you every step of the way. Your brain is too sharp for that. You can't expect yourself to want or have to rely on them for everything."

"I know," Clem whimpered, clutching the thin fabric of Alex's nightgown in her hands. "But it's just such a hard adjustment, and..."

"I'm here, every step of the way." Alex took her hand and gently kissed the palm, her touch delicate and soft and understanding. "You'll be okay. We all will."

"But I want to be okay now." Now Clem was crying, heaving into Alex's chest. "And I feel this terrible dread and guilt and all of these terrible things because I have so much anger toward my father and the things he did and said to me and to you and I feel like I don't owe him grief so I feel like I'm weak for being upset." She sniffled. "But then I feel like a terrible person because he's gone, and I should care more?"

"Grief doesn't have a set amount, Clementine," Alex pointed out gently. "Nor is it steady. You'll feel fine one day and feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest the next. It's normal. And I know you and your father had lots of complications." Alex nudged her, lifting her chin to gently move her gaze to her face. "You don't owe your father your grief, no. But you owe it to yourself. It's normal to feel like this."

Clem didn't reply, just tucked her head back into the crook of Alex's neck and closed her eyes, trying to breathe her familiar scent to calm herself down. 

"Want a distraction," Clem mumbled, and Alex hummed lightly, gently tugging on her arms. She began guiding her fiancée back to the bed, and Clem briefly cursed herself for making Alex get up; the bed would be cold. 

"Come here." Alex climbed back into bed and gently pulled her lover down next to her, tossing the sheets over them and wrapping her arms tight around her. Clementine snuggled into her chest and tried to focus on the sound of her heart beating."

"Did you have a dream wedding when you were younger?" Alex murmured. Clem sighed softly. 

"I still do."

"Tell me about it." Clem could hear the faint smile in her voice as she trailed her fingers up and down her back to keep herself moving. "Since we're getting married soon."

Clem left a light kiss on Alex's collarbone. "Want to marry you."

Alex's heart was beating a little faster. "Other than that, silly. That doesn't count. I mean, like, from when you were a teenager."

"Well, my statement still stands." 

Alex laughed nervously. "Well, at least give me something else, then. That can't have been your only dream."

Clem briefly wondered if Alex also thought about how many years they'd wasted piddling around each other. "Okay, fine." She began tracing lazy shapes on Alex's chest. "I always wanted to have a small wedding. Just... in a nice church. With my brother and my mom and my dad. And I always..." Clem took a deep breath, and let it out in a little laugh. "Well, I always said my spouse's family, unless it was you— it was always you— because I know how you feel about them, and I'd only invite them if you wanted me to." Alex chuckled, a deep rumble in her chest, and Clem's heart fluttered. "But I wanted it to be small, during the summer. And maybe at sunset, or at night, when it was cool and the wind was blowing." 

"That sounds very much like you." Alex smiled into her hair. "You're very summery."

Clem smiled a little into her chest before continuing. "I always wanted a very elegant dress rather than one of the big ballgowns with the poofy sleeves and the round skirt. My mother had a big dress, and I've seen the portraits of her in them and I know that even though it works for her, it wouldn't work for me." Clem's dress had to be big and ornamentized to an extent to show off her class, her status, her ability to maintain anything from a kingdom to the skirt of a dress. But there were dresses in her casual wardrobe that were more attuned to what she wanted than the one she was getting, especially considering the sacrifices she would have to make in her wedding considering, well, the rest of it. 

Alex was quiet for a long time, and for a moment, Clem wondered if she had fallen asleep. After a moment, though, she spoke up again: "I think we have all the criteria for a perfect wedding right here."

Clementine sat up a little, looking down at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, your dad isn't here." Alex sat up, too, and gently cupped her face. "But your mom is. Isaac and Lilith are. It's warm out, and we've still got a few hours of moonlight. No church, but we've got a courtyard, a forest nearby, lots of dresses for you to choose from—"

"No priest," Clementine stuttered dumbly, trying to collect her thoughts. "Um. I would give anything to kiss you right now. But please continue."

Alex laughed again, bumping their noses together and granting her with a chaste kiss. "I don't mean we have to get married tonight, Princess. I don't think we're allowed to." The words were almost lost on her. Clementine just wanted to hear that laugh again. "But I think, what, with all of these perfect coincidences, surely it would be a shame not to celebrate early."

"Perfect." Clem kissed Alex again, lingering for a while longer than was strictly necessary before pulling away. "I'll get dressed and go to wake up Mother, and you can get dressed after and wake up Isaac and Lilith and meet me in the courtyard."

Alex scoffed playfully. "Because you'd leave me to wake Isaac up."

Clem batted her eyelashes playfully. "I'll be the Queen in two days."

"Alright, alright." Alex kissed her one last time— for good luck, she insisted— and left the room to get Clem's siblings, leaving her in a haze for a moment. 

She finally came to her senses and lept from the bed to her wardrobe to put on a dress. 

Half an hour later, she had coaxed her mother out of her room, still in her nightclothes, to the back of the courtyard. 

"Are you proud of me?" Clem's voice was small, quiet as though not to disturb the stillness of the night. Her mother, who was brushing her wild hair behind her ears, sighed softly. 

"More than you could imagine," she murmured, planting a kiss on top of her daughter's head. "And I'm happy for you."

Clementine wanted to say more— there were a million questions she wanted to ask— but her heart was racing in her chest as she waited for Alex, and her mother kept brushing her hair, and it felt too good to ruin. 

Clem hoped that Alex hadn't hoped to be stealthy, because she could hear Lilith clomping through the grass of the courtyard, giggling quietly. Clem turned to look, watching Lilith and Isaac running down the path. Alex wasn't far behind them, looking a bit more relaxed than everyone else for once in her life. The sight of her made Clem's breath catch in her throat. 

"I'm marrying you!" Clem called in disbelief as Alex made her way down the lane. Her lover laughed again, light and free, and Clem felt herself smiling. 

Clem's mother stepped away to join her other children as Alex made her way to Clem. The princess took her hands, stunned as always by how warm they were and how perfectly they fit in hers. 

Clem leaned forward and left a quick kiss on her lips, and Alex chuckled. "You aren't supposed to do that until later," she chided. 

"Couldn't help myself," Clem whispered, and Alex smiled. 

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Clem continued, and Alex softened in her arms, a rosy blush coming to her cheeks. “And I’d give up everything for a million lifetimes if it meant I could keep you.”

“Clementine,” Alex whispered. Clem didn’t miss the way her voice broke a little, the way she was willing tears not to come to her eyes. Clementine gently pressed their foreheads together. She hadn’t felt very stable lately, but one thing was for certain: Alex was the best she had ever had. She was home.


End file.
